


Let's Meet In The Purgatory Of My Hips

by sozmom



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Based on the goatman episode, Comedy, Demon!Shane, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, Nephilim!Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 02:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12997923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sozmom/pseuds/sozmom
Summary: For a demon Shane sure spent a lot of time in heavenly company (very literally).





	Let's Meet In The Purgatory Of My Hips

The human body is curious thing. This particular human body seemed to be exceptionally odd. He'd watched it grow - not in the disappointed way the father had, not in the proud way of the mother. More like a gardener - watching his small acorn grow into a large tree. 

A very large tree.

He reflects sometimes on the years he spent huddled in toy boxes and dark closets and underbed - narrowly avoiding holy water and the hunters (not so) sharp eye. He had put a lot of investment into this vessel. He remembers planting that first seed of doubt into the boys head. It had been ridiculously easy. An alcoholic absentee father did an angry young boy make.

That anger was the how he found himself access to the human world.

The first thing he did was drive the father - and all his little hunter play things - off a bridge. The goatman didn't mind so much, he'd even helped pull the elder man down into the dark tendrils of water.

He had taken his first soul in a human body that night. He'd also taken the name Shane. Not very intimidating but it was exactly what he had wanted. Years spent studying the original Shane had helped him avoid any doubt. The recent death of the vessels father provided him free time to make mistakes and adjust accordingly. Any weird behavior was readily excused thanks to it.

He has a feeling the mother knew what had really happened to her husband that night - and had silently thanked him by allowing him to walk in her sons body. He knew she knew how to dispel a demon - she just choose not to.

He likes to think his dark presence was a comfort for her in the harder years.

But the human body gave him the liberty to continue his work without the scrutinizing watchful eye of hells hierarchy peering over him every step of the way. Besides the longer he had the vessel the harder he was to track. He did have to resort to finding his own power when he finally got cut off of hells never ending tap. It wasn't that hard to do considering how bizarre and corrupt earth had become. It was easy to get souls these days - especially living in Los Angeles. 

City of Angels - a pathetic name all things considering. Angels rarely came to earth and if they did they were more likely to reign holy righteousness down on this city rather than live in it. So many soulless walked the streets here - even more had souls marked for the taking.

That's why Ryan Bergara, with a soul as pure as heavens own light, became Shane's new obsession.

\-------------------------------

It didn't take long to figure out the man was a nephilim, it was what had made him so untouchable. Shane had quickly realised Ryan had no clue of what he truly was. Anyone in the loop wouldn't look so hard in all the wrong places for proof of something supernatural.

At first agreeing to be Ryan's co-host had been a desperate attempt to corrupt (what he presumed was) the human's soul. However seeing how tortured spirits reached out to him, how the demonic Sallie had nearly turned and fled from the house as Ryan entered showed Shane that any attempt would be fruitless.

And that's when he started to have fun.

It was funny - to see a creature perhaps as powerful as Shane cower at the cockroach that was Sallie. Sallie, who had only turned on the flash light after Shane had practically forced her to. Ryan's scream had been entirely worth the few scratches she'd left on his vessel for binding her energy near the holy light of Ryan's soul.

Ryan had been so relieved to leave early that night but he wasn't the only thing glad for the early departure.

After the first couple of episodes Shane could almost safely say Ryan considered him a friend. They bickered constantly and sometimes Shane couldn't look directly at Ryan if he got a bit too excited because all that contained angelic energy would flare up. 

Still they made it work. Well Shane made it work. So long as Ryan never knew Shane never had to worry.

\---------------------------------------------

A year had came and gone since Shane had figured out _what_ Ryan was, and in that time he'd figured out _who_ Ryan was.

It was a dangerous game being around a nephilim. It could leave him potentially exposed to heavens fury - or hells distain, still he couldn't find it in himself to be cautious.

It wasn't like him. He was a meticulous planner. From spending 18 years corrupting one soul in order to obtain a sustainable vessel - to choosing to work at the most evil corporation that wasn't already occupied by a demonic entity. It was all so carefully planned. However with Ryan that planning had gone out the window.

The man himself was a delight - so easy to mess with, however his light never waned like mortals usually did. Shane could run corrupt rings around him all day and never once would they truly mark Ryan's soul. While Shane had spent the majority of his time at Buzzfeed trying to pollute the system as much as possible those efforts were now turned towards ghost hunting.

And surprisingly he actually really liked it.

It worked in his favour as well. He could wreak his own havoc during their outings. The spirits would instinctively be drawn towards Ryan - he offered the possibility of passing on to the next life. Just when they would get close to Ryan to receive his unknowing holy blessing Shane would butt in and snatch the opportunity from them, scaring the spirits well away and increasing their suffering.

It was a much more satisfactory and immediate power rush than any of his well laid plans.

The benefits were endless and truthfully very selfish. But the one he indulged in the most was certainly not due to his demonic nature - in fact he wouldn't be surprised if his years mascarading as a human had made him soft. Ryan Bergara, nephilim, the antithesis of Shane, was fucking gorgeous.

His vessels conscious had checked out a long time ago but his taste had clearly remained. More often than not Shane spent the majority of his time in Ryan's company staring at the man, taking in his dark features and toned form. Lust was one of the seven deadly sins that Shane happily engaged in.

He'd heard from unreliable sources that an angels wings became visible when they orgasmed, he burned with curiosity wondering if it was the same for nephilim. 

What a duo they made, a half angel and a demon, both clearly off the radar for their respective metaphysical homes. The possibilities were absolutely endless - and if Shane had his way (and by His Most Unholy, Lucifer, he would) Ryan and he would never part. Forever was barely any time for a demon.

\----------------------------------------

"So buddy what's the next case?" Shane asked, sliding into his chair next to Ryan's.

He put both their coffees in between them, a ploy to have Ryan's hand brush his when he reached for it. Sure enough he did and that brief moment of contact sent a spark up his vessels nervous system. He still hadn't figured out if it was a result of their polar natures or his feelings for the nephilim at play. Either way it was addictive.

Ryan sips his coffee and offers him a grateful smile that quickly slips off his face as remembers the question. "Its that time in the season again" The half angel sighs, Shane can almost taste the fear palpably in the air.

"Ooooh demon time" Shane mocks sarcastically. Truthfully all the demon episodes were the most wary ones for him. While he knew the ghosts would run from his taunting in fear of getting dragged to hell, a demon was more unpredictable. 

He usually turned his efforts towards protecting Ryan the best he could. A simple task in the Sallie house but much more difficult at Bobby Mackies.

He was grateful that janitor had the good sense to bind the demon in the basement and not that dumb closet that was so chocked full of ghosts that Shane nearly suffocated entering it. The basement demon was a little more low-level than Shane but could do some real damage if he got ballsy with him or Ryan. He amped up his own power at that point. Screaming at the pest to turn on or off the flashlight had been very effective at making him seem more powerful than he was.

He was hoping this next demon adventure would be at least cockroach scale again, maybe annoying house cat.

"Demon time" Ryan agreed reluctantly. "Its a two for one sorta thing - there's this bridge and a forest surrounding it that's supposed to be ripe with demonic energy" He explains. Shane freezes a little before quickly relaxing so as to not give anything away.

There was only one famous demonic bridge in America. Looks like he'd be giving his old buddy the Goatman a visit.

"Sounds delightful"

He gets a wad of paper thrown at him for that. He also gets the nephilims loud bubbly laughter to fill the office almost obnoxiously. The annoyance radiating from coworkers trying to peacefully get stuff done and the fond way Ryan looks as him gives the demon a near euphoric power boost. 

Ryan, the gift that kept on giving. Shane starts thinking about those wings again.

\----------------------------------

The drive out to Texas been mostly silent. Shane tried to cheer Ryan up, to distract him from his own anxious thoughts however it proved to be a fruitless endeavour. 

They arrived at the dumpy motel they would be staying in. Generally they brought a small crew with them to these places but for extra security they'd increased the numbers a little. They had done this in case of any crazy occultists showed up with knifes and real objects that could possibly harm them. 

Shane was a little irked by this increase however - the goatman may let three lowly wonderers pass freely with out incident - especially if Shane was there. But six people? The Goatman would feast without care - perhaps only sparing Ryan and Shane.

The room was shitty, Shane could practically taste the stale tobacco that had clung to all the fabrics over the years. One of the useful and also terrible things about being a demon in a human vessel was the heightened senses. He knew exactly where everyone was based on scent alone but at the same time if they were farting or masturbating anywhere with in a mile radius he'd know.

Humans were disgusting. Half of them deserved their one way ticket downstairs. Not Ryan though. The man had quite literally burped into Shane's face and the demon nearly thanked him for such a gift.

In fact many people thanked Ryan for trivial things. They also wanted to do things for him, all the time. Shane originally had thought heavenly influence was bullshit but clearly it had its perks. The fact that Ryan's agenda usually coincided with Shane's made it all the sweeter.

He and Ryan would share a room like always. Seperate beds unfortunately. Shane had tried on several occasions to switch the booking but he was either thwarted by the humans who were so terrible at their job they gave them their original booking, or by Ryan himself who was a compulsive worrier and checked everything eight times before his anxiety lessened.

He flopped down on the bed, ignoring the disgusting information flooding his head about what had happened in it. No murder thankfully but he had a fair idea where the miniscule risdual blood on the mattress had come from.

"I don't know if I can do this man" Ryan confesses. He sat on Shane's bed, making the mattress besides his vessels form dip.

The thing about angels is they were always cold. Ryans body may be at a normal temperature but his angel aura was near Antarctic. Shane on the other hand had a vessel who was never warm but he knew demons burned hot. The different temperature should be some what of a warning sign for Shane, should repel him. He finds himself drawn towards it however. And he could swear Ryan unknowingly was reaching out to the flames inside Shane.

"You can" He replies simply, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on Ryan's shoulder. The nephilim leans in to it, letting out a shuddering breath. "I probably seem like an idiot right now" Ryan jokes, although there isn't much humour there.

"Oh no Ryan dont think that. You always look like an idiot" Shane teases as he pokes his side causing Ryan to jerk away from him but thankfully he laughs. Shane can see the panic seep from his form, relaxation taking over.

"Well if I'm an idiot what are you" Ryan accuses him, its reminiscent of a juvenile playground retort and Shane can't help but adore it. "Albert fucking Einstein" He deadpans.

Ryan looks mildly offended before a (dare Shane say it) devilish smile takes over his face. He quickly swipes the pillow out from under Shane's head and firmly smacks him in the face with it. Ryan throws his head back as he laughs, exposing his neck to Shane. Shane is torn between arousal and anger. 

He grabs the other pillow from the vacant side of his bed and quickly bashes it into Ryan's gut. The nephilim stumbles backwards with the force and winds up tripping onto his own bed, back against the mattress. Shane, ever the opportunist, launches himself on top of him, thighs bracketing Ryan's waist. This is not how Shane imagined pinning him to the bed would go.

He brandishes the pillow above his head like a fluffy sword. "Do you concede?" He asks, waving the pillow threateningly. Ryan looks stunned beneath him, eyes wide and pupils dilated. Shane can smell the arousal coming from him as well as fear and nearly tosses the pillow aside to claim what's rightfully his.

"I concede" Ryan finally says, holding up his arms in surrender. Shane tosses the pillow aside but doesn't immediately get off Ryan. Instead he lowers himself until he's practically covering the form beneath him. He can hear Ryan swallowing and confusing concotion of fear and lust fills Shane's senses. 

Ryan's holy light flares even brighter - perhaps trying to scare Shane away, however it just makes him want it all the more.

Knocking on the door startles both of them, causing Shane to jerk off of Ryan in surprise. The demon wasn't used to being caught off gaurd like this. Ryan scrambles away from, rushing to answer the door.

Shane doesn't pay attention to the conversation Ryan has with the crewmember, he's too busy trying regain his wits.

Angelic influence can apparently numb his demonic senses. He'll have to keep himself in check tonight then. If Goatman decided he didn't want visitors Shane couldn't afford to be off gaurd. For Ryan's safety and his own.

"Get ready we're leaving in half an hour" Ryan tells him once he closes the door. Shane doesn't mention what passed between them and instead simply complies.

\------------------------

The drive to the bridge is tense, Shane can't really tell if that's his doing or Ryan's overactive anxiety taking hold. Either way its not fun.  

"I'm so nervous" Ryan admits, and it breaks some of the tension. His fake anxiety ridden laughter fills the car and Shane is almost relieved to have the nephilim talking to him again. As enthralling as it was to have Ryan beneath him if the price was awkward silence he couldn't imagine himself paying it.

"Don't be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that!" Shane protests, gesturing to the vivid colours trailing the sky outside. He wasn't overly attached to the human world but he could admit the scenery was more beautiful than the inhabitants. In most cases anyhow.

They banter a little more, Shane finally taking his first proper look at Ryan since they got in the car. His eyes are darting nervously around and his hands fidget on the steering wheel. A bead of sweat makes its way down his face - it distracts the demon a little. How wonderful would it be to trace it - or cause more to bead on his forehead.

"I hate demons" Ryan exclaims, cutting Shane's warm fuzzy thoughts off. Reality seeps into his dream like reverie. 'You should' Shane thinks bitterly 'But you don't hate me Ryan'.

\---------------------------

The holy water is .... Concerning. Shane hadn't even sensed it due to the pure manufactured plastic encasing it. He unintentionally jumps back when Ryan points it at him - ready to feel a burning sensation.  
It never comes so instead Shane makes fun of the toy. Its a bit ridiculous for an angelic being to need holy water but still Shane feels a little safer knowing Ryan could protect himself. Shane might leave tonight unscathed.

They step nearer the bridge and to Shane's utter relief - its empty. Well empty of any demonic presences. There is the lingering feeling - the goatman had been here but something else occupied him. Hopefully it could hold his attention all night.

Shane is almost confident that tonight would go smoothly - until Ryan starts panicking.

Fear is like a pheremone for demons - it says 'easy prey here'. Considering how afraid Ryan is on the regular means Shane enjoys bathing in it when they're safely dealing with a few ghosties who can do no harm.

However the possibility of the smell of fear attracting the goatman is not a risk Shane's willing to take.

"Fuck you goatman!" He calls out into the night air. Already the smell of Ryan is decreasing. It changes as Shane pushes it even more.

"Show yourself goatman!" He hams it up even more. Ryan now has an air of annoyed amusement surrounding him. There's lingering hints of worry but not enough to do any harm.

"We're gonna get killed one of these days" The half angel warns him as they cross the bridge. Shane doesn't know if he's too on the nose or not even in the ball park with that one. Before venturing out into the forest the demon notices something out of the corner of his eye. He turns to look at it but it vanishes from sight.

'Just a couple of more hours' He thinks to himself. Just a couple of more hours until Shane can safely be the only demonic presence in Ryan's life. 

\--------------------------

The goatman was in the woods. Shane knew that the minute he walked in. It was easy to tell - the entire air changed.

"People usually feel over come with emotion when they walk in here. Like a violent emotion" Ryan explains to the camera Shane holds towards him.

Their camera guy is trailing behind with another crew member - Shane can already feel them tensing - but their job was to remain silent and follow them and so they did that. Ryan wasn't affected outside his usual fear. His angelic aura seemed to be glowing a little brighter - combatting the evil force trying to tempt the nephilim to get angry.

Shane wasn't so fortunate. The goatman was definitely a lot more powerful than Shane. A lot older too. He remembers their first encounter only vaguely - he was still trying to get the hang of his vessel. Still the goatman had let him be - content to take his vessels father who had come to banish the goatman - not even realising the real threat was sat beside him.

He didn't seem benevolent but then neither did a spider setting its trap. A demons purpose is ultimately clear, how they fulfill that purpose is where the trickiness comes in. Shane fulfilled his in the form of the slow corruption of many - the goatman seemed to be more old fashioned.

It made him powerful - but not efficient and there was two types of prey in the wood tonight Shane guessed. The erratic heartbeat of someone slightly younger than he or Ryan is heard from his far left. There was probably a teenager in here with them tonight. Either getting high or skinning cats.

He would most likely be the more favourable option to hunt - a lonely teen or a group consisting of two humans and two other worldly beings. Shane just hoped the other demon wasn't one for challenges.

\-------------------------

The screams in the woods are enough to make Ryan turn his head. Shane plays it off - pretending he doesn't hear every hitched breath and low growl accompanying them.

The last scream came with a sickening wet crunch that Shane could hazard a guess from what it came from. He made sure to keep Ryan clear of any possible murder scenes.

However when the rustling started Shane was already on gaurd. He didn't feel the goatmans presence nearby which meant something else was in the woods with them  
Something that didn't have a heart beat.

"I feel like we're being surrounded" Ryan tells him, voice a higher pitch than normal, he's so panicked now that Shane can't even think of ways to calm him down. Then _he_ appears.

The vessels father. Or well, his ghost. His very active ghost Shane would like to add. The man was able to control the branches of several trees at the same time. The most a ghost could usually do was mess with Ryan's little spirit box.

Ryan appeared not to see him, finally leading Shane back towards the path.

Leaving the forest was the best thing they did all night.

\---------------------

The ouija board was stupid. As a demon Shane felt confident in saying so. The ghost of the hunter hadn't followed them out of the forest but Shane saw him on the outskirts, dead eyes glaring out at them. He's unsure if ghosts actually recognised people. They could distinguish between entities - demons, humans and angels. He didn't know if they actually had a full consciousness. If they could remember faces from their past. 

The way the ghost is looking at him - Shane almost thinks so.

Goatman still wasn't going near the bridge - clearly sated by the nights hunt.

At least Shane knew why the name 'Steve' kept cropping up. That was the fathers name. Stephen Madej, a hunter who had become the very thing he hunted. There was a certain pleasure to knowing how cruel the afterlife was for this man.

Shane fucks with the ouija board for a while - laughs at Ryan's poor excuse of a salt circle. If he had wanted it to be in any way effective he wouldn't have been so sloppy about drawing it. Even Shane could blow it away as if it were nothing.

The shoot finally, _finally_ comes to an end and the Shane's actually relieved to be done with it.

"You hear that Goatman, It's our bridge now!" He declares proudly as they walk off.

The low distorted chuckle he hears from beneath the bridge wipes any bravery from him. "Okay time to go" He says, rushing Ryan off the bridge as fast as possible. The goatman doesn't make an appearance but Shane can feels its eyes on him well until the bridge is out of sight.

\---------------------

"You seem a little shaken" Ryan speaks up a little while into their drive. Shane raises his eyebrow at that but then realises that Ryan most likely can't see it.

"Hmm, just tired" He lies, drumming his fingers on his vessels thigh. It was an annoying habit he picked up from a human he used to work with - before he took her soul that is.

"Right" Ryan mumbles, clearly dissatisfied with the answer. Shane hated the discomfort settling in the car. He could nearly physically see Ryan pull away from him as his holy light dulls in disappointment. With a sigh Shane decides a half truth is as good as any.

"My father's car went over a bridge when I was 18 - he drowned. Being on any bridge sorta reminds me of him" Its not the best lie in the world, complications could come with it but he knows it'll stop Ryan from reading too much into the night.

It'll stop him from possibly finding out.

"Oh god.. I didn't know" Ryan says quietly, guilt and empathy roll off him in waves. Shanes unsure if he likes the feelings or not. Maybe he just doesn't like them on Ryan.

"Yeah, he was kind of a douche - don't like bringing him up much" its something he'd heard Shane - the real Shane - say to friends when they asked about the father. 

Why not recycle old material?

A silence settles over them once again but its not nearly as stifling as before.

"I never knew my dad" Ryan quietly confesses "my mom, she raised me. She always told me my dad was an angel. I used to think that meant he just had to be amazing - the way she'd go on about him" He pauses and let's out a joyless laugh. "But when I grew up I realised that no angel would forget their sons birthday 20 years in a row. No angel would abandon my mom to raise a kid on her own. I guess I've always resented him for that" Ryan finishes. He keeps his eyes firmly on the road but Shane could do nothing but stare at him, jaw clenched and knuckles whit on the steering wheel.

Ryan's mother had literally told him he was half angel. And he didn't believe her. Oh he was too precious.

"If yours was an angel mine was certainly a demon" Shane jokes, knowing its wasted on Ryan but not caring.

Ryan's huffs out a laugh anyway. "I think we've both had enough demons for this season" The nephilim says, a true genuine smile breaking over his face. Shane can't help but smile back, resisting the urge to laugh at the irony of it all.

"There's always next season"

\--------------------------

The minute they reach the motel Shane gets dragged towards their room by Ryan.

As soon as the door closed behind him he was being flung towards the nearest bed - Ryan's bed with  said bed owner crawling on top of him. The fear that usually clung to Ryan was gone, replaced by something much more delectable.

"If you don't want this you have to say so" Ryan tells him, frank and honest. It was kind of sweet that the half angel never had it in him to truly lie. Shane theorised that it was the result of his nature. Part of him hopes its just a Ryan thing.

Shane however has many more things to appreciate besides Ryan's honesty. He wastes no time pulling the shorter being down, so that their lips met. Its a harsh bruising kiss. Not only can Shane hear Ryan's erratic heart beat he can feel it where his hand rests on his neck.

Its everything Shane had hoped for, searing, heated and so very wrong. His nature and Ryan's were clashing, he could feel the resistance of his inner darkness and how hard Ryan's angelic energy was fighting against it.

And it encouraged him more. Ryan seemed to kiss him even harder as well - clearly feeling some of that energy. Eventually his lips leave Shane's and he peppers kisses down the demons neck. Shane moves his head to allow Ryan better access, simultaneously moving his hands up under Ryan's shirt.

"You can still say no" The nephilm whispers into his neck. "I'm not stopping unless you want to baby" Shane flirts, gripping the ends of Ryan's shirt.

Ryan pulls away and stares at him, looking into Shane's eyes intently. "You mean it?" He asks in the quietest voice Shane's ever heard.

Shane grips his chin and brings their lips together for a much slower and more intimate kiss. "I'm all yours" He murmers against the other lips, so there is no doubt.

The sharp intake of breath is the only response he needs.

\------------------

The rumor was true, even for half angels. Ryan's wings were really something to behold.

The look on his face as he found release was just as beautiful in Shane's humble demonic opinion.

**Author's Note:**

> Ay shyan demons - its me - ya girl - back at it again with that good good.  
> This took me way too long to write.  
> The title is based on a fall out boy song, pretty sure its WAMS but I can't remember.  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.  
> Come scream about bfu with me on tumble @plupplemadej


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